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Ice Cream Madness

Yesterday was Ben And Jerry's 'Free Cone Day', where they gave out free ice cream to anyone who could be bothered to queue up like a typical Singaporean auntie who spotted free tissue giveaways.


Since we were bored out of our wits after yesterday's revision lecture, which almost put half the class to sleep, the whole gin gang of us went down to Cathay to get ourselves some free ice cream.


The Cathay



I've heard about this free cone day quite a couple of times before but I have never been bothered to have a look-see to see what it's like. Well, yesterday was the day I lost my 'Free Cone Day' virginity. And it was a shocking experience too.


As we all know, Singaporeans are suckers for FREE giveaways but who would have expected the queue to span a whole 2 levels of the building? Yes, I'm not kidding. The queue started from the Ben and Jerry's shop [duh~] on the 3rd floor, and extended all the way up the escalator, and around the entire 4th floor of The Cathay. There were even temp staff hired just to manage the bloody queue!


Ticket to Fame

The Ticket to Fame




Dragon Queue

The Dragon Queue




Workaholics

B&J Staff hard at work



Although it looks nasty, the queue actually moved relatively fast. Our entire ordeal merely lasted slightly more than half an hour from the point where we joined the queue until we finally got our ice cream. Oh, and it's so sickening to see Singaporeans not even reaching for their wallets when being asked to donate any amount for some charity at the counter before getting their free ice cream.


A normal B&J ice cream would easily cost around $2, and some people just couldn't even be bothered to take a peek into their wallets for some spare change. These people should have been given just the cone without any ice cream. Who? Me? Of course I donated some money! A whole dollar to be exact.


So anyway, we all managed to get our free ice cream and lived happily ever after.

Yammmmmmmm~ Seng!


Cheers


Anyhow written on Apr 30, 2008 at 11:56 AM

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What's with the beef?

Why is it that people tend to think that the formula "Guys + Big Muscles = Hunks" is always true? Granted, some hunks do have nice bodies but this equation is not inversely true.


I say it's because of the rotten psychological pollution that the media has flooded our minds with. Take one look at magazines such as Men's Health or action flicks like terminator and you will instantly notice that every single noticable male in there has a body sculpted like hurcules as well as an acceptable amount of good looks.


But have you ever wondered how many other buffed dudes with train-wreck faces the directors had to throw out of the auditions before being able to find 'a few good men'. Kinda seems like a typical 1st audition show of American Idol.


And to my amazement and disguist, I chanced upon something that personifies this social stigma even more... And get this... I found it in NTUC FairPrice.


For those of you who still remember the games like five stones and zero-point we played during our era, one of the more famous breakfast foods we used to have was Kellogg's Corn Flakes.


And this is what the Corn Flakes mascot used to look like a couple of centuries ago...


Original Corn Flakes




However, has anyone seen the 'new and improved' Corn Flakes mascot? I have. In the NTUC just beside my house too. And it made me sick...


Beefed Up Corn Flakes



Why the heck did they need to put the chicken on steriods and put him on a 5-day week iron pumping schedule? In what way does eating Corn Flakes give you any chance of becoming like this chicken? It's supposed to be a healthy breakfast, not some protein suppliment.


What is this world coming to?


Anyhow written on Apr 27, 2008 at 8:36 PM

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Retail Therapy

I went out to get a pair of Nike sneakers...



But I came back with this...




Mr Yaya Papaya




Yes, I finally found my illusive Mr Yaya Papaya tee at the New Urban Male shop at CineLeisure. Although it cost me a bomb, Mr Yaya Papaya is now Mr Happy, but broke Yaya Papaya.


Anyhow written on Apr 23, 2008 at 9:42 PM

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Our Favourite Supervillian

Now that the news is out on how everybody's favourite supervillian, Mas Selamat, managed to escape the detention centre with ease, it's time for the blamestorming session. No, it's not a typo, blamestorming is the act of group of people involved trying to find logical excuses to push the blame of a certain situation onto somebody else's shoulders.


The main problem that lead to his escape was that ungrilled ventilation window above the cubicle he was in, as well as that aptly placed ledge in the toilet which allowed him to access the window easily.


However, the incident that shocked me the most was that the guards actually didn't have the balls to take immediate action when they sensed something was wrong. The incident was escalated 4 times upwards before somebody actually came in and kicked the door open only to discover that he had made the perfect getaway. Boy do I feel sorry for that guard who was standing outside the cubicle. Seeing how Singapore is such a blamestorming country, somebody will definitely have to take most of the rap for it, and that somebody would most probably be him.


This also shows the critical responsiveness of our country's military. The gurka who re-enacted how he escaped from the centre only took 49 seconds from closing the cubicle door to landing both feet outside the detention centre, let alone the 11 minutes where Mas Selamat could have taken a shit, jacked himself off and even finish a ciggerette at a leisurely pace and still have enough time to get himself out of the detention centre.


And this is not the first time that our hero has escaped our short arm of the law. Before this incident, he also pulled a fast one on his detainers and we even had to bow our heads down in disgrace as we had to have him handed back to us on a plater by foriegn law enforcers. We would be the laughing stock of the world if history would have to repeat itself. How is it possible that we cannot find one individual within the concrete jungle of a small red dot called Singapore while Thai officials can sift him out of their densely forested country that is more than 10 times the size of ours?


This inefficiency in response time also holds true for our entire military system. Anything and everything always has to be escalated at least 1 level up before a concrete decision can be made. This is because of Singaporean's favourite email functions, 'CC' and 'BCC' attitudes, better known as 'Cover Ca-Ching' [cover backside] and 'Better Cover Ca-Ching' [better cover backside]. Because of our overprotected society, very few people actually have the balls to take responsibility for any actions that might land them into a pile of shit.


Imagine having an attacker charging towards a Singapore soldier weilding a kitchen knife. By the offical rules of engagement, he cannot open fire with his gun because the attacker is not armed with a firearm or lethally dangerous weapon. And even if he did want to open fire, he would first have to shout "STOP! STOP! STOP OR I'LL SHOOT!", before firing a warning shot into the air first, and then finally having to aim for a non-lethal spot on the attacker's body and firing a single bullet to disable the attack, which by that time the soldier would probably have a million and one stab wounds on his torso and face.


And I believe many Singaporean soldiers won't even have the balls to stand their ground and fend off the attacker, let alone having the guts to put a bullet through his head. Put me in that situation and I'll gladly put an end to that loser's life without raising an eyebrow, which would probably lead me to having to write a 1000 word report on the incident and why I didn't follow protocols etc etc. Heck, take that back, I think I would rather use my rifle as a baseball bat and knock the living daylights out of him.


Anyhow written on Apr 22, 2008 at 3:40 PM

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The Gathering, Round 2

Sorry for the recent lack in updates, cos my exams are around the corner, I have been [supposedly] mugging very hard everyday. That's because of a little bet I made with PiPi.


She intends to go for a Taiwan trip with her classmate after she graduates, which would be the end of my 2nd year, and she and I made a small wager on that trip. I've always been confident of achieving 1st class honours at the end of my degree but PiPi doesn't think that I can do it because of my playful nature. So I made her a wager that if I could get 3 As out of my 4 subjects for year 1 and year 2, she would sponsor my trip to Taiwan together with her and her classmate. However, if I didn't manage to achieve 3 out of 4, I would sponsor her trip to Taiwan.


Most people who know about this bet say that I'm crazy and I'm in a disadvantagous situation, however, I prefer to think of it as a challenge and those people who know me well know that I love to beat challenges laid down to me. And not only beating them, but beating them by a mile too. Looking at my first year subjects, I'm quite confident that I would be able to score 3 out of 4 As, and that leaves me with the 2nd year subjects to deal with before getting a free trip to Taiwan. Therefore, I think that I am the one with the advantage in this bet instead of her.


And that's why I am aptly named 'Mr Yaya Papaya'. Although that pretty T-shirt I saw on display for the longest time at City Link's New Urban Male shopfront but suddenly went out of stock when I finally decided to buy it did contribute to this name too. I would gladly buy it off anyone who has it in small size as long as it looks new and doesn't smell like something just died in it. Any offers?


So anyway, back to the main topic. After poor response for the initial date of this month's training, we postponed it to last Saturday but still some of the 'Masters' failed to turn up. The actual turnup was almost half our full strength and hence the training became more of a fun and entertainment session. All you need is a few crazy monkeys and a quality digital camera and you've got yourself a great way to spend 'training time'.


Here's a few shots that caught me on my better side.


Flying Kick!

Flying Kick! Look at that impact! Yata!



Triple Kick

Now 3 monkeys flying together. Focus on the facial expressions for a quick laugh



Seated

Always ready to pose, even when I'm resting!



There are a few videos to, but until I manage to extort them off my friend who seems to be following the footsteps of Mas Selamat, that's all for now. The videos are much nicer to look at than the pictures. Hopefully I can get them soon.


Anyhow written on Apr 21, 2008 at 12:36 PM

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Big Bowl Noodles [大碗面]

Had the honour of tasting PiPi's "famous" 大碗面 yesterday for lunch. Never have I seen so much effort been put into a bowl of instant noodles. Instant noodles are supposed to do what their name says, be instantly ready to eat, but in this case, the whole cooking process took almost 45 minutes.


In addition to the already-tasty-enough-for-me spicy sesame flavoured instant noodles were cooked vegetables, boiled tomatoes and sliced hotdog franks. All bought, cooked and prepared with the giving heart that she has always had.


So without futher ado, let me introduce to you, the "famous" PiPi's 大碗面! I can still taste the flavour in my mouth, wait, or is that just the leftover stuck between my teeth...



Big Bowl Noodles 1



Big Bowl Noodles 2


Anyhow written on Apr 11, 2008 at 2:27 PM

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All Messed Up

Internal Clock



That's what my internal clock probably looks like right now. Sleep has always been 1 thing that personifies the meaning of the word 'irregular' in my life. Well, at least ever since secondary school.


Just this week, I had a total of 4.5 hours of sleep in 62 consecutive hours before hibernating for 12 hours straight from 5am to 5pm yesterday. Woke up and had my lunch at 5.30pm and my dinner at 1030pm. And now I'm as awake as an owl at midnight.


For those of you who didn't know, I submitted my 4th and final assignment for the year last Monday, along with my last prelim paper. Happily I gave myself 1 week for R&R before starting to revise for my final exam. Then I realised I had revision lectures from 7-10pm from Monday to Thurday and 9am-5pm revision lectures on Saturday and Sunday too.


Amazingly, I still managed to squeeze in about $20 worth of LAN gaming, a ktv session, a movie and an estimated total of about 20 hours of online gaming just by sacrificing a little sleep. Someone once asked me, how do you manage your time? I think my answer to him would be "I don't. I just make every second count. Sleep only when absolutely neccessary."


Got a reply on my reservice deferment status via email and SMS yesterday...

"Mr XXXXX XXXXX, Deferment application, transaction ID ABCD1234XYZ is unsuccessful."


Which means that I have to go back to serve the nation by digging holes in the ground [how does that help, by the way?] during the first 2 weeks of my 2nd year of studies, even though I met 90% of their deferment criteria. My guess is just because I'm studying in a private university. If I was studying in a government-supported university, I would bet my last dollar that the application would be approved before I could spell 'Tyrannosorrous Rex' correctly without looking at dictionary.com. [Ok, that might take me a while, but I'm sure I could get it right within a day or two]


Asking somebody to skip his first 2 weeks of school just to go and dig holes in the ground is unacceptable. I am studying in a technical IT course where good foundation could make or break a person and they are asking forcing me to skip my first 2 weeks in school.


So who's gonna be responsible if I get bad grades because I wasn't able to catch up with the rest? Who's gonna pay the school fees if I get retained for not doing well? Who's gonna pay back the money and experience I could have earned from the 1 year more that I could have been in the working society if I get retained? The government? You wish.


My friend once told me some big shot officer once asked him, "What is more important? Your country or your studies?" I would gladly reply him "MY STUDIES."


Not because I don't have national pride or anything like that, but just because I know that Singapore can't and WILL never be part of any real war.


  1. Singapore's economy is too 'Trade-reliant' to be of any use after any war, regardless of the result. Would you dock your ship in a country that was just a part of a war?


  2. Singapore is too small an island. Even a mis-aimed bomb that landed on any of our direct neighbours would completely wipe Singapore off the face of the planet.


  3. Singapore has the ability to fight, but not sustain a war. The economy will crash and there won't be enough money to buy or build bullets when we run out of them.


  4. Singapore soldiers are too protected to be of any real usefulness in a war. The enemy would just have to wait for a thunderstorm and walk right in, as our soldiers are protected from training in bad weather.




I could go on forever but in order to protect myself from being cuffed and sentenced by a government that does not allow freedom of speech, I shall stop my bitching and start searching for a way to resubmit my deferment with more power now.


Anyhow written on Apr 1, 2008 at 12:37 AM

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