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Funky Happenings at Orchard Road

Just finished my weekend roadshow over at the Sony booth in front of Heren. I used to wonder why so many people like to go to Orchard road when there is only one thing you can do there, mainly shopping. And expensive shopping at that. But over the weekend, I actually discovered some reasons why Orchard Road is one of the most 'happening' places in Singapore.


firstly, because Orchard is such a hot favourite among locals and foreigners alike, most of the female species are either dressed to kill or should be killed. I couldn't keep track of the number of ladies who had only less than 50% of their upper body covered with cloth. Some of them would attract eyes like bees to honey for the right reasons, while others only got exagerated stares from the general public. Take the girl who wore something like those sexy nities you would usually spot the girls on the the cover of FHM or Maxim donning, only difference was that her figure was almost 3 times of the latter. And yet another missy seemed to be too late for her appointment that she seemed to have forgotten to change out of her sleeping pyjamas before making her way down to Orchard. You know, those pasar malam cloth material one piece spaggetti straps that stop above the knees?


Anyway, the main person that has been locked vividly into my memory was not a girl, but a guy. Now, before you start assuming any possibilities of gayness in me, let me explain myself. As usual, we would have a DJ blasting some music during the roadshow and this fella actually stepped up into the open area in front of our sound boxes ALONE and started 'dancing' away along with the music. Or at least that was what he calls dancing i think. Either that or he was having a sudden spasm of hoppiotytis [no such word, people].


Imagine a skinny monkey in simple jeans and t-shirt combining the games of 'stationary hopscotch', 'kickiing the invisible football' and 'swing your arms like you're racing a cheetah in a 100 meter dash' which some of us used to play when we were younger. Now imagine that combo along with trying very hard[but failing miserably] to sync all those actions along with some hot R&B music. And he managed to stop the crowd for his 3 minutes of fame before he got tired and probably went to hide in the male toilet for the rest of the day.


And that's not all that happened. We even withnessed the full glory of the 'haolianing' Singaporean on Orchard Road itself. Every hour or so, we would be garanteed to hear one or two thunderous roars of monster engines zooming down the small stretch of road, trying to make everyone in Singapore, JB and some say Batam appreciate the loud roars of their engines, but turn your head to the road and you will only notice that those sounds would be coming from some tiny Japanese car, modified inside and out with a gazillion decals anyhow stuck onto it. Wow. I'm soooo impressed. In fact through the entire weekend, the only vehicles that commanded my engine respect were a yellow Lamborgini and a red Porshe GT. The rest were shit.


And talking about cars, we also witnessed an imprompto roadblock set up along Orchard during the peak hours of Sunday afternoon. No, it wasn't done by our great Traffic Police, but instead by a bunch of metrosexual punks driving MX-5s. We were busy serving customers when suddenly we heard lots of horns being blasted along the street just in front of us. To our amazement, a group of about 8 MX-5s had stopped in a line right across the middle of Orchard Road. And they were not even close to any traffic lights. [The lights were still green in any case]. And after about 1 minute or so of horning and camera phones being flashed about along the sidewalks, they let go of the pink balloons that each of the drivers were holding and sped of into the horizon, or in our case, towards the city area. I doubt I will ever witness anything like that any time soon.


Don't really wish to talk about work, cos in general, it was quite sucky. I don't think I will ever want to do another roadshow at Heren anymore. The only encouraging factor was that I got to know another 2 models during the course of the roadshow. I wouldn't mind being a model myself, considering the fact that they earn almost double of what we earn, jstu by doing only half of what we do.


Anyhow written on Nov 1, 2007 at 2:20 PM

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