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The [Longgggg] August Issue

So many things have been happening in August and it's only the beginning of the month! I wonder how much more of this kind of excitement I can take before I die of a heart attack.

1. Hungry Ghost Festival

Yup. It's that time of the year again. Where you see/smell incense and hell notes being burnt at every corner of your HDB flat. For those who live in the mountains, the ghosts in hell are supposedly let out for a holiday on planet earth every 9th month of the chinese calandar.

Having being tortured and starved for the rest of the year, they are deemed to come out with an empty stomach, hence the phrase 'Hungry Ghost'. And that's the reason why everybody who believes in this [I don't] starts burning incense and leaving offerings around the block, praying for the ghosts to leave them and their families alone and give them peace.

Having being dragged downstairs by my family to burn the offerings, I discovered a few weird loopholes in the system. Since everyone is burning gazillions of hell notes [the largest denomination I've seen so far was a stack of 50 million notes] to the ghosts, all of them should be gazillionaires by now. So how is it that they still can't afford to buy food down under? We even have to burn paper 'cloth' for them to make clothes? You're telling me that a stack of 50 million can't buy you a pasa malam quality underwear?

And since inflation is so high down there, we're not helping them buy burning gazillions more every 12 months. Shouldn't we just burn less, or even phase out the current monetary system they're using right now and replace it with a new one? Then we would just have to burn a single piece of 20,000 note every year.

Another unusual sight was the burning of 'coins'. Since everything down under requires trash bags of money to be bought, what's the use of burning 50cent coins to them? So they can show off to their friends that they have a useless 50cent coin that can't even be used to buy a strand of hair?

Come to think of it, this Hungry Ghost Festival is really quite interesting if you start to criticise every single detail in their system...

2. PRSS Homecoming

Attended my old secondary school's Homecoming celebration last Saturday. Wasn't really interested in going but some smart alec went to purchase the ticket on my behalf anyway. So I ended up going down to Tampines to attend Pasir Ris Secondary School's Homecoming.

After all these years I still don't understand why it's named Pasir Ris Secondary School when it's obviously located in Tampines. Furthermore, it was the first neighbourhood school to be set up in Tampines so there couldn't have already been another Tampines Secondary already there. Anyway, meet up with a few [countable on a single hand] good friends from the Taekwondo club [whom I would also be able to meet easily even without the homecoming] and of course my favourite teacher-in-charge, Hu laoshi.

I forgot when she became the in-charge for the Taekwondo club but the impression she left on me wasn't that of any physical activity. As most of you would already know, I was a A1 Chinese student until I reached Primary 4. That's when my self-proclaimed artistic talents kicked in and I started drawing nonsense during chiense classes. Obviously the results suffered and I was never able to catch up ever since... Until Hu laoshi stepped in.

She was my Chinese teacher in secondary 3 and 4 [don't ask me how I managed to survive all the way to sec 3] when my chinese was as attrocious as my spelling. Noticing my poor understanding [or lack of] of the suject, she forced me to stay back 2 or 3 times a week after school for 1-on-1 tuition.

At first I hated it and tried all means and ways to avoid the extra tuition, but soon I realised that it actually helped alot. Her english wasn't PhD level but she would always try her best to translate and explain the meanings in english for me. This carried on from late sec 3 until the end of sec 4 when I took my O levels. And guess what? My chinese turned out to be one of the subjects included in my L1R5 calculations!! Don Play Play ah~

So here's a heart-felt shoutout to Hu laoshi in thanks for all the help she has given me, although I know she will never read this post.

3. 080808 8 million ToTo Draw

On 8th of August 2008, there will be a special ToTo draw with the top group prize of 8 million Singapore dollars. My lazy dad asked me to buy some ToTo numbers for him whie I was out to lunch at Eastpoint. This was the first time I was buying ToTo, but knowing my gambling luck, I should have just kept [and earned] the $10 bucks as any gambling materials that go through my hands would probably end up on the losing table. However, I also secretly hope that the numbers I bought will win him something as I would most certainly have some commission to gain.

For those punters out there who haven't bought your 8 million ToTo ticket, what are you waiting for? And make sure to give me some commission if you do manage to win anything. Even a te dollars would suffice, I'm not a greedy person.

4. Return of the Brothers

A couple of good friends have been temporarily desserting Singapore during the past month, only to come home back recently. One left for Hong Kong on a university exchange programme for a month or so to get gay with the Cantonese Mickey Mouse, while the other ran away to Vietnam to visit his brother and bring back a wife.

And because of this, our dota sessions have come to a complete standstill as we become noobs without the full team's presence. However, come this weekend, everybody will finally be back in Singapore and we can finally own as a team again. I'l be waiting anxiously for that day to arrive.

5. Why Girl's Blogs > Guy's Blogs

I have this deep impression of an article I read somewhere around the net but I'm having trouble finding the actual article right now, so here's a self-enacted version of what i can remember.

----Girl's Blog Start----

Today I went our with my dearest girlfriend XXX to the nearby coffee-shop for dinner. We just had to have our favourite [[insert favourite food]] which we haven't eaten in the longest time!

[[Insert picture of self with a cute pose]]

[[Insert picture of self and girlfriend with cute poses]]

[[Insert picture of favourite food]]

The queue was freaking long can! We had to wait for almost 20 minutes before we even got a chance to order our favourite [[insert favourite food]]. Whie waiting, XX and me saw this girl in front of us with damn long and silky hair! She must have just rebonded her hair recently.

[[Insert picture of backview of silky-haired girl]]

[[Insert picture of self trying to touch silky-haired girl's hair]]

How I wish my hair was as healthy as hers! I would give anything to have hair like that.

[[Insert picture of own frizzy hair]]

[[Insert picture of girlfriend making fun of own frizzy hair]]

Oh! And when it was almost our turn this rude old auntie just cut our queue right in front of us and even made the 'zheeq' sound when we looked at her! Stupid old auntie, how I wish I could slap her face, but I'm not the violent type so we just stared at her while she ordered and talked loudly about how rude some people can be.

[[Insert picture of backview of old auntie]]

[[Insert picture of self and girlfriend making faces at the old auntie's back]]

Some people really have no manners at all. Ok! Time for me to take a shower! Will blog again next time!

[[Insert picture of self in home clothes with tongue sticking out]]

----Girl's Blog End----

Now here's the Guy's version of the same day's story....

----Guy's Blog Start----

Nabeh! Today lao CB cut my queue!

----Guy's Blog End----

Now you know why girl's blogs always have higher hits then guys?

Anyhow written on Aug 5, 2008 at 1:08 PM

1 bored people said something about this

Haha this is so true! No wonder i seldom see guys blog, except u :p

posted by Anonymous Audrey : 1:17 PM
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