Some things in this world can never be explained. Most of the time we just brush past them without even thinking about why it is this way but in actual fact, nobody can really explain some of the facts of life. Here's a small list of the amazing facts of life that we don't take notice of in our everyday lives.
Fact of Life #86 : Public Pooing - The Single-Wiper
Have you ever done your business and gotten a single-wiper? You know, the kind where everything is clean in one single wipe? I bet you have. But have you ever realised that most of the time this only happens when you are having some business at home. On the other hand, whenever you take a shit in any place not named "Home Sweet Home", it always seems to become a super multi-wiper. I've personally experienced this first-hand. I have took number of dumps at my workplace so far and I can tell you that I should have used up a total of at least 1 whole roll of toilet paper.
Fact of Life #13 : User Manuals
Nobody knows why they kill thousands of trees each day to print something as redundant as usual manuals. I'm not talking about manuals for complicated items like handphones or cameras where you would be lost if not for those holy bibles. I'm referring to simple stuff like electric kettles and standing fans and such. Don't tell me you need instructions on how to press the ONLY button on that new electric kettle to start boiling the water inside of it. Even than, who actually reads these manuals anyway? When you get a new laptop, is ripping out the user manual and reading it from cover-to-cover the first thing you do? NO WAY! You'll just whip out your shiny new toy and start playing around with it immediately. So this is actually one of the areas where we are actually wasting tons of resources on. Might as well save on the manuals and provide me a tree instead. Than I can have some shade in my room during the afternoon.
Fact of Life #67 : The Internet has ALL the Answers
Unbelievable but true. For any question or problem that you have, an equally satisfying answer can and will be found on the Internet. It's just a matter of how much time you waste reaching that answer. Want to learn to cook a dish? The big I knows how. Got a question on some matters not too convienent to discuss in the open? The big I can answer your questions. Heck, the big I even has the solution to your problems installing themes on your mobile phone. But it took me almost 3 hours of relentless googling and scanning of pointless forums that only ask more questions than to provide the answer to find it. Don't believe me? Try a search on "Why the Internet has all the answers".
Fact of Life #22 : The Fattest Are the Fastest
A simple survey conducted at random bus stops around the area concluded that fat people are actually faster than skinny people. But only in the case of boarding the bus/train. Have you noticed that the first person to get on the bus is more likely than not a plump, overweight person? And more often than not, he/she will not have his coins/card ready and end up blocking the entire entrance way in the process of searching for his payment. This is especially true during rainy days when the people in the bus stop do not have umbrellas with them. So next time you see a fat person at the bus stop who looks like he's going to board the same bus as you, you can either elbow him in the gut and get in front of him, or wait for everyone else to board and then board peacefully, but with a lesser chance of finding a seat. Personally I'll choose the elbow.
Fact of Life #101 : Not Hearing Your Name is a Good Thing
Every person has a unique name that defines that person. So it's good to have people call your name right? WRONG. Most of the time when your name is called, it would sound something like this "[insert your name here], could you take out the trash for me?" or "[insert your name here]! Don't touch that!" These are still minor callouts for your names, but imagine these situations "Look out [insert your name here]! That elephant is gonna sh*t on you!" or "Hey, isn't that [insert your name here]'s dad playing on that mini tricycle?" And the closest we could ever get into something good is "And the first prize goes to.... Mr/Mrs [insert your name here but replace or add 1 letter somewhere]! Congratulations!" So the fact is, the less the you and the rest world hears of your name, the better.
I could go on and on and turn this into a book but I'm getting bored of writing about anything critical that randomly pops into my head. Maybe you guys out there would like to contribute to this list and we might even be able to turn it into something big. But for now I think it's time for me to take my pill and come back to the real world...
Anyhow written on May 22, 2007 at 1:56 PM