How did you spend your Halloween? Well, mine was spent at home alone, trying hard to be a good boy by finishing up my notes. Alias the demons within got the better of me and I ended up playing games after finishing the notes for 1 subject only.
I really just can't seem to get back into study gear since the start of this semester. Apart from nodding my head in agreement with the lecturers with my eyes closed and my brain in dreamland during lectures, I just can't seem to find the motivation to focus on writing my notes at home.
Maybe its because I gave myself an ultimatum that from the start of November, I will have to get back into study mode and really hit the books. Everyday. So today might be the last day of having time to enjoy the sights and sounds of Internet-land and therefore I'm allowed to slack for a bit right?
Anyway, back to topic. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if Singapore really did officially celebrate Halloween? I mean right now its only the clubbers who go out of their way to dress up as Suicidal Students and Dead Brides and visit unsuspecting clubs for trick or treating. If Halloween was really a national event in lil old Singapore, I suspect we would have a strange mix of weirdly-absurd Singaporean innovations.
Here are some situations that you would only be able to find in Singapore:
1. Counting Candies
Similar to Chinese New Year where older people give younger generations ang baos, at the end of the day, parents of children who go trick or treating for candies would most probably ask their children how many sweets did 'this person' give them, so as to regulate how many sweets to give to 'this person's' kid the next year to avoid being shortchanged.
Oh and people would most probably would not want to get too close to those families who have armies of children in their ranks, so as to save on giveaways during Halloween. Those poor kids would probably even get rationed sweets from those families whom they did actually visit.
2. Scary Costumes
There would probably be many clever and innovative people out on the streets when it comes to costume designs. Here are a few ideas that would probably only work in sunny Singapore.
- The Carpark Warden [A.K.A. Fatima] :
Ever so skillful at keeping out of your field of vision with the ability to come and go in the bat of an eyelid, she is feared by one and all who has driven a vehicle in Singapore for her lightning fast fingers and the ability to leech you of your money when you least expected it.
- Monkey God, Thousand Hand Guan Ying, Fox Spirit etc :
With the wide variety of Taoist and Buddhist deities and demons, each Singaporean should be able to uniquely choose any one of them without having fear of other people having the same costume. It would be like the 7th month all over again, but this time you can actually see those 'ghosts' prancing about.
- Mas Selamat [Most-wanted Man in Singapore] :
He walks with a limp on his left leg and is hated by all NSmen for making them do 24/7 prowling of Singapore. I'm sure nobody will have problems recognising your costume with his face practically plastered to every bus, bus stop, train station and shopping center. However, we do advise the public not to be too perfect in this costume design as you might end up having to explain yourself to the SWAT team of Singapore.
- The Ah Pu Neh Neh [A.K.A. The Bangla] :
You'll need lots of Kiwi shoe polish for this one. Stereotyped as the dirty, perverted construction worker of Singapore, most people relate them to molest, rape and robbery cases in Crime Watch as they would relate rabbits to carrots. It seems like we left out the Banglas in our "Harmonial Multi-racial society". Did we really forget them or was it a ploy all along by the Singapore government?
- Mr Lee Kwan [Who?] :
The biggest bigshot in Singapore. Single-handedly responsible for making Singapore what she is today, this man holds all the cards and every Singaporean would tremble and get sweaty palms if he were to ever get in close proximity to the normal man. He might even have my blog removed completely if I were to say anything inappropriate about him.
3. A mountain of Sweets
Halloween would be the favouritest day of any kid living in a Singapore HDB flat. All he would have to do was to knock on every door of his 12-storey HDB flat and he would probably get enough sweets to feed all of Africa's starving children for a year. But knowing the typical Singaporean, most families would probably leave their houses in the early morning and come back in the wee hours of the night [Or at least pretend not to be home] to avoid having to donate sweets to these meddling kids.
The only people who would probably gladly give out more and more candies without expecting anything in return [yet] would be the dentists and doctors. Knowing full well that they would probably earn back more than 100% of their expenditure when the parents rush them to the doctors for tummy upsets or to the dentists to cure that toothache.
4. The Great Halloween Sale :
Shopping malls islandwide, who have ongoing sales all year round, would probably make full use of the occassion to increase their profits by having some Halloween Sales with reduced pricing on items that have totally no link to Halloween, like clothes and bedsheets. On the other hand, items which are specifically for Halloween would have their prices jacked up tenfold, forcing unwilling customers to part with more of their money as the day of scare approaches.
5. An Excuse to Save Electricity :
With the price of electricity going up again many people might consider living in darkness [or maybe just with candles] stating that they are 'getting into the mood of Halloween' by turning off all the lights [but leaving the air-conditioning on]. It would also be the only day where an islandwide power failure could be dusted off as a spectacular governmental attempt to entertain the general public. Heck, they might as well sound the national defense siren which can be heard from every corner of Singapore as a prank to scare the citizens. But as we all know, our law-by-law government will never do such things in the name of fun.
After reading everything above, do you still think that Singapore should celebrate Halloween at a national level? I'm having second thoughts already.
Oh, by the way, I've gone international. Found this picture of me on a banner is some weird country [going by the unreadable language], probably Russia or something. I didn't know I had such a wide audiance...
Just kidding! It's just an edited picture from photofunia.com. Oh, and I realised I am seriously lacking of self-photos on my new lappy... Now where is that camera...
Anyhow written on Oct 31, 2008 at 10:04 PM