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Emo-ing

Been listening to sad, emo songs these few days, and it has undoubtedly has had an effect on me. Listening to the lyrics of the songs sometimes make you feel that the world is closing in on you. Especially this song 'Dance With My Father'. The memories of the Danzation Family segment just come pouring back whenever I hear the song. It just makes your eyes teary and makes you wanna go run and hug someone dear to you.


Recently I've been feeling a little lost again. Seems like I'm having PMS. I kinda get this feeling of lostlessness a couple of times throughout the year. But the strange thing is that it doesn't only come during down periods, but somehow it just randomly picks a sudden moment to instill all those negative karmas into me.


Just came back from my first official reservist ICT on Friday night. Normally people would think that reservist is just a 1 or 2 week procedure where everyone just goes through the motion, counting down each day as it goes past. However, my reservist was nothing like that. Has anyone ever heard of reservist personnel putting on camo for outfield? Just a small example of how 'on' my reservist was. And the reason? Both the Commanding Officer and RSM are regulars trying to climb up higher on promotion the ladder.


But anyway, I managed to 'siam' the entire outfield experience and enjoy 3 days of 'holiday chalet' experience, waking up at whatever time I want and spending the rest of the day in the air-conditioned company office while jostling for the only 2 internet-connected computers in the office with 4 other people.


How did I do it? Well, let's just say I tried to stop 2.5 tons worth of heavy equipment on a giant trolley going down a gentle slope with the back of my right ankle. Amazingly the only damage was a giant blue-black and slight abrasions on the back of my right leg. Army boots are gooooooooooooood man.


Just listen to the lyrics of this song. Heartbreaking.

Luther Vandross - Dance With My Father


Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high
And dance with my mother and me and then


Spin me around till I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure
I was loved


If I could get another chance
Another walk, another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
How I'd love, love, love to dance with my father again


Ooh, ooh


When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way I would run from her to him
He'd make me laugh just to comfort me, yeah, yeah
Then finally make me do just what my mama said


Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he
Would be gone from me


If I could steal one final glance
One final step, one final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
Cause I'd love, love, love to dance with my father
again


Sometimes I'd listen outside her door
And I'd hear her, mama cryin' for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me


I know I'm prayin' for much too much
But could You send back the only man she loved
I know You don't do it usually
But Lord, she's dyin' to dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep
And this is all I ever dream


Anyhow written on Aug 11, 2009 at 12:18 PM

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